Saturday, 18 August 2012

The Fear....

Paul is currently sleeping for England!  If it were an Olympic sport he would definitely have had a place on the podium!  It will be the last thing he does for his country before we head off and I am somewhat relieved that he practically collapsed from exhaustion following his last day at work.  Enforced relaxation is the only way with him.  Better that he sleeps now than when we are travelling across Russia, missing everything that he has worked so hard for.

We have moved everything we are keeping into storage - we squeezed everything into 35 sq ft and now just have a few things to sort out in the final week before we set off - I'm hoping this will help relieve the boredom and also keep us off Amazon searching for last minute "must haves".

It is a strange feeling waiting to embark on this adventure, not knowing exactly where we will be heading, how long the money will hold out, where we will be living in a year, and when we will be back in England.  It is a giant leap into the unknown and with that brings a certain amount of trepidation.

There is a mix of emotions at play.  Friends have said it's a brave decision to leave a life behind with such a huge element of uncertainty packed into the whole experience.  I have to admit that for me personally this guaranteed ambiguity has resulted in panic and fear, as well as excitement.  This is human nature. 

The reality is that nothing is certain and none of us can know with any certainty where we will be in a year's time - whether we will still be doing the same job, living in the same place. 

All this is part of the adventure and part of the dream.  The trick is to turn it into a positive.

For the foreseeable future there will be no more Sunday nights hating the thought of Monday morning.  No more Monday mornings wishing it was Friday afternoon already. 

We have both worked most of our adult lives since we were 16 or 17 years  old and at any given time would have left that life at the drop of a hat giving no thought to the wider implications, or the practical and emotional consequences.  Paul has travelled and moved around he world much more than me and is more familiar with dealing with the finer details.  Personally, finding myself on the brink of such an adventure I has made me realise just what it entails.

The simple truth is that part of the joy of this opportunity is to leave behind the mundane for a while and throw ourselves headlong into a real adventure and see some of the amazing world out there, and then sample a different life in a different country for a while (Australia or New Zealand - that is yet undecided).  Personal circumstances make this possible - no kids or pets.  Perhaps our personalities lend us to this kind of decision too - I like to think so.

One thought drives me even when terror takes over.  I would only ever regret NOT taking this trip, whatever happens, whatever the future brings. 

I cannot wait to start our trip.  I do get attacks of the heebie jeebies because I am much more programmed than Paul and less gung ho.  I like to think that we balance each other a little.  I hope this will result in relative harmony but that, too, is part of the voyage into the unknown...


>>And the Journey begins...

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